Why Can't Men Get a Little Work-Life Balance?

By Alyssa Royse

Forget those insolvable conundrums about women in the workplace, women in tech and women entrepreneurs.

Instead, what if we educate men about not working?

In every discussion on women in business, we discuss the leadership-in-business role as the pinnacle. When we do that, we give all other decisions - from becoming a receptionist to homemaker - short shrift. As if no woman would choose that, if she had equal opportunity to run a business or have a successful tech career. We position it such that women are not in those positions, but that they should be or could be, if only....

However, we also have great role models of homemakers, not to mention a decades-old debate about whether women should be working-mommies or stay-at-home mommies.  That means that no matter which camp they choose, there is a camp for them. Women have far more opportunity to justifiably opt out of the rat race than men do. Women are often lauded for achieving work/life balance.

Men? Not so much.

What if the problem isn't that we don't create enough opportunity for women in business, but rather that we don't create enough opportunity for men in life?

What if, from day one, boys are told that they need to be star athletes, president and the next Bill Gates, while girls are told, "you can be anything?" Anything includes not working. What if by virtue of having a larger spectrum of opportunity - one that includes CEO and staying-at-home - fewer girls are choosing tech and business opportunities because they have other choices?

Personally, given the choice between working 80 hours a week and being stressed out vs. being supported by a guy who loves my home-cooked meals and other "wifely" talents, while allowing me the opportunity to be purely creative with my writing and business ideas, I'd take the supportive guy any day of the week. And I could do that. Not because I am not capable of working 80 hours a week in any field, but because it's a pain in the ass. A guy can't do that so easily. The guy who chose not to support himself would just be considered a "slacker." I, on the other hand, could be the talented and creative, free-spirited wife of a nurturing husband whose love....  You get the picture.

Moreover, as a woman, I can choose to be anything from a chef to an artist to an athlete to a CEO and still slide nicely into an accepted societal archetype. Men? Nope. There is no accepted "Susie Homemaker" archetype for men.

Simply put, I think women have far more opportunity than men, and many of them choose not to be business leaders because leading a business sucks. And that's ok. I wish men had the same opportunity.

Yes, we need to do a better job of educating little girls about math, science and business. But we also need to do a better job of educating little boys about baking, childcare and art.

We need to educate ALL people about the fact that there are myriad ways to be successful, and money is only one.

I have a daughter starting 7th grade this week. I have made sure that she's in all the good math and technology classes, because she's awesome at math and I want to encourage that. However, I mostly encourage her to figure out who she is and what makes her happy and to pursue that with everything she's got. Maybe she'll be an entrepreneur, who knows. But I do know that being successful in business is only one of her many options. Personally, I hope she'll choose an option that makes her happy.

Graphic cc: Jeromy Johnson  http://www.flickr.com/photos/19188303@N02/41908

Alyssa Royse is a Seattle entrepreneur and writer. If Royse makes tons of money on her next startup, she'll be looking for a guy who's a great cook, kind soul and awesome lover and will happily support him. Until then, the reverse sounds just as good (and more socially acceptable.) She used to write about women in business, exclusively, and was trying to find a way to work sexual manipulation into this post, so she could link to an old piece called Quid Pro Blow: Sexual Enticement To Close The Deal. Sex and manipulation is just so much more interesting than this touchy-feely follow your bliss stuff.

This post originally appeared on Seattle20.com

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www.AlyssaRoyse.com